Kerätäänkös HD-aiheisia vitsejä tähän keskusteluketjuun? Riitta voi sitten vaikka painaa niitä Harrikassa... Tässä aluksi muutama ajatusten siemeneksi, iloisesti sekaisin ja kahdella eri kielellä:
Pyöräni poiki Länsiväylälle, tähän appiukko että "se ei sitten selvinny luokan kestävyysajosta Helsingistä Espooseen?"
95% of all Harleys ever manufactured are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it home.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? - The location of the dirt bag.
A policeman stops a Harley rider and asks for his license.
He says "Listen, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The biker answers "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
Vaimoni ei halua liittyä HOG:iin mutta kyseli onko olemassa HOOG:ia, eli Harley Owners Owners Group?
Päivän vitsi
HD-aiheisia vitsejä tähän threadiin
The story tells that 95% of all Harleys ever made are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it home.
Mies ajoi Ladalla kaikessa rauhassa moottoritiellä kun yht'äkkiä rinnalle pamahti pitkäkeulainen Harrikka jonka karvainen kuski viittoi miestä sytyttämätön savuke suupielestä roikkuen avaamaan ikkunan. Kun ukko sai vapisevin sormin ikkunan auki pyysi motoristi tältä tulta savukkeeseensa, tarjosipa vielä ladamiehellekin. No ukkohan meinasi saada slaagin ja ajaa ojaan, sai kuitenkin pysäytettyä autonsa tien sivuun ja soitettua poliisille. Harrikka oli tässä vaiheessa jo kadonnut kauas taivaanrantaan.
Poliisi sai baikkerin kiinni muutaman kilometrin päässä ja ohjasi tämän tien sivuun. Savolaiskonstaapeli ryntäsi niska punoittaen käsi valmiiksi aseen kahvalla pyörän viereen ja meuhkasi: "Meinaatko sie tappaa ittes ja muut tiellä liikkujat!!!" Tähän motoristi: "Mitenkä niin? Näähän on vaan kevytsavukkeita..."
Poliisi sai baikkerin kiinni muutaman kilometrin päässä ja ohjasi tämän tien sivuun. Savolaiskonstaapeli ryntäsi niska punoittaen käsi valmiiksi aseen kahvalla pyörän viereen ja meuhkasi: "Meinaatko sie tappaa ittes ja muut tiellä liikkujat!!!" Tähän motoristi: "Mitenkä niin? Näähän on vaan kevytsavukkeita..."
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-Harikka-
- Viestit: 4914
- Liittynyt: 09:50 15.11.2002.
- Paikkakunta: 'suur'-Salo:n saaristo merenranta kauppala
- Viesti:
Found this and given how anal some on this list can get if other riders
don't wave.......now you know why!!
Top ten reasons Harley riders don't wave-
10. - Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
9. - Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8. - Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7. - Afraid to let go of the handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6. - Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5. - Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay tax on the new Harley.
4. - Just discovered that The ALL-AMERICAN Harley is 30% Jap Parts.
3. - Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2. - Didn't see you because his eyes were vibrating.
1. - They're jealous that after spending $20,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing.
1a. For the Sportster Owners - BT owners don't wave to no girly bike rider.
Top ten reasons Gold Wing riders don't wave-
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making obscene gesture.
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
8. Has arthritis and the past 4000 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The cappuccino machine just finished.
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
4. Was in a 3-way conference with stock broker and accessories dealer.
3. Couldn't find the "Auto Wave" button .
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height,
programmable CD, seat temp and satellite nav system.
1. They were momentarily blinded by the glare from the chromed dash accents!
Top ten reasons Crotch Rocket riders don't wave-
10. Blow-by oncoming riders so fast, the wave is 1/4 mile down the road.
9. New Leathers are so stiff can't lift his arm .
8. When tucked-in, can't see crap through the windscreen.
7. Hands are so numb, can't feel 'em.
8. 'Nads and Johnson are so numb, can't feel 'em either.
7. Afraid to raise arm for fear of gettin' blown off the scoot.
6. Ain't got time to wave, always stirrin' the 6-speed gearbox.
5. Upsets your line goin' through corners.
4. Slows you down a few MPH.
3. Too busy lettin' your pillion rider have her way with you.
2. Afraid you might be a Harley-Davidson rider.
1. Didn't see ya' dude, was lookin' at the road!
Wave at everybody and smile, it confuses the hell out of them!
don't wave.......now you know why!!
Top ten reasons Harley riders don't wave-
10. - Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
9. - Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8. - Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7. - Afraid to let go of the handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6. - Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5. - Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay tax on the new Harley.
4. - Just discovered that The ALL-AMERICAN Harley is 30% Jap Parts.
3. - Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2. - Didn't see you because his eyes were vibrating.
1. - They're jealous that after spending $20,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing.
1a. For the Sportster Owners - BT owners don't wave to no girly bike rider.
Top ten reasons Gold Wing riders don't wave-
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making obscene gesture.
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
8. Has arthritis and the past 4000 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The cappuccino machine just finished.
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
4. Was in a 3-way conference with stock broker and accessories dealer.
3. Couldn't find the "Auto Wave" button .
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height,
programmable CD, seat temp and satellite nav system.
1. They were momentarily blinded by the glare from the chromed dash accents!
Top ten reasons Crotch Rocket riders don't wave-
10. Blow-by oncoming riders so fast, the wave is 1/4 mile down the road.
9. New Leathers are so stiff can't lift his arm .
8. When tucked-in, can't see crap through the windscreen.
7. Hands are so numb, can't feel 'em.
8. 'Nads and Johnson are so numb, can't feel 'em either.
7. Afraid to raise arm for fear of gettin' blown off the scoot.
6. Ain't got time to wave, always stirrin' the 6-speed gearbox.
5. Upsets your line goin' through corners.
4. Slows you down a few MPH.
3. Too busy lettin' your pillion rider have her way with you.
2. Afraid you might be a Harley-Davidson rider.
1. Didn't see ya' dude, was lookin' at the road!
Wave at everybody and smile, it confuses the hell out of them!
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-Harikka-
- Viestit: 4914
- Liittynyt: 09:50 15.11.2002.
- Paikkakunta: 'suur'-Salo:n saaristo merenranta kauppala
- Viesti:
37 REASONS WHY MOTORCYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1.Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 5,000 miles.
2.Motorcycles' curves never sag.
3.Motorcycles last longer.
4.Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
5.You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
6.Motorcycles don't have parents.
7.Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
8.You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
9.You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
10.If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
11.You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
12.If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
13.Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
14.When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
15.Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
16.Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
17.New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
18.If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
19.If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
20.If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
21.If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
22.You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
23.You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
24.You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
25.You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
26.You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
27.If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
28.You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
29.Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
30.Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
31.Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
32.Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
33.Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
34.You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
35.It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
36.If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
37.You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
2.Motorcycles' curves never sag.
3.Motorcycles last longer.
4.Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
5.You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
6.Motorcycles don't have parents.
7.Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
8.You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
9.You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
10.If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
11.You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
12.If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
13.Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
14.When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
15.Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
16.Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
17.New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
18.If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
19.If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
20.If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
21.If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
22.You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
23.You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
24.You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
25.You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
26.You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
27.If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
28.You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
29.Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
30.Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
31.Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
32.Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
33.Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
34.You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
35.It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
36.If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
37.You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
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-Harikka-
- Viestit: 4914
- Liittynyt: 09:50 15.11.2002.
- Paikkakunta: 'suur'-Salo:n saaristo merenranta kauppala
- Viesti:
What a difference a jar of Vaseline makes....
This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine.
He happily pays for the bike and leaves. A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her upon his Harley and they ride to her parent's house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a word.
Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of
everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table. They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay, for f**k's sake, I'll do the dishes!!"
He happily pays for the bike and leaves. A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her upon his Harley and they ride to her parent's house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a word.
Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of
everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table. They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay, for f**k's sake, I'll do the dishes!!"
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-Harikka-
- Viestit: 4914
- Liittynyt: 09:50 15.11.2002.
- Paikkakunta: 'suur'-Salo:n saaristo merenranta kauppala
- Viesti:
Varpunen...
Harleyn "hurjastellessa" maantietä sataaviittäkymppiä lentää varpunen suoraan häntä kohti. Kuski yrittää väistää lintua muttei onnistu tässä, ja törmäys on väistämätön. Taustapeilistä hän näkee miten varpunen pitkän holtittoman lennon jälkeen jää tielle siivet levällään makaamaan. Harley-kuski pysähtyy. Huonon omantunnon tuskissaan hän nostaa linnun varovastiylös, hankkii sille häkin ja peittelee varpusen hellästi kangastilkkuun, laittaa vielä palan leipää ja astiaan raikasta vettä häkkiin odottamaan varpusen virkoamista. Seuraavana päivänä varpunen herää, katsoo häkin metallikaltereita, vesikuppia ja leipäpalaa, painaa päänsä siipiensä suojaan ja parkaisee tuskissaan: " Voi vittu, mä oon tappanut sen Harley-kuskin".
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-Harikka-
- Viestit: 4914
- Liittynyt: 09:50 15.11.2002.
- Paikkakunta: 'suur'-Salo:n saaristo merenranta kauppala
- Viesti:
Biker...
If the only reason you have ever cleaned
out the garage is to make room for ANOTHER bike.
If you have a tool kit on your bike
and the tools actually show signs of use.
If you look around your garage and realize
that if you bought some gaskets and a chain
you would have enough spare parts lying around to build another bike.
If your left boot has a shifter divot in the top of it.
(or right boot for some of the older scoots)
If your bike/helmet/gloves/leathers/patches/goggles
were NOT all bought on the same day.
If you giggle your butt off when you hear
somebody use the word "bro".(yeah, I know, it USED to mean something)
If you have at least one custom part on your bike
that you made yourself. (if you bought it off the shelf it is NOT custom)
This one is a guarantee:
You are definitely a real biker
if you have ever bought a basket case and actually
put it together, got it running and rode it without
having to take it to a shop/bike mechanic.
The mere sight of a car with it's left turn
blinker on gives you the willies.
When you think of customizing your bike,
you think about sheet metal, welders and torches NOT credit cards,
Bike shops and mail order billet.
You refuse to EVER "Ness" up a perfectly good Harley.
It took years before you would even consider owning
an Evo and you are still doubtful that you will ever actually do it.
If you think a grease rag and a hankie are one and the same.
If you look under your bike and don't see any spots
of oil on the ground you wonder what's wrong.
If you are almost deaf in your right ear.
If you think Sturgis just isn't as much fun as it used to be.
You refer to the local Harley dealership as "The Boutique".
The term "Bean Blossom" doesn't make you think of gardening.
You knew what a "ride bell" was before there
was a letter about 'em in Easyriders.
If you have ever rigged a car/truck part to work on your bike.
You hop on a pre 60's bike and don't look for the starter button.
When you ride through the neighborhood
mothers take their kids inside.
You spend more time riding your bike than polishing it.
It starts to rain while you are riding your bike
and all you worry about is getting your smokes wet.
You have huge oil stains on the living room carpet
...and it doesn't bother you.
You use old pistons for ashtrays,
when you bother with using an ashtray that is.
Dressing up to go out means wearing a -CLEAN- black t-shirt.
You never ask the guy behind the counter "Will this fit on my bike?".
You have a goggle tan on your face - and it doesn't bother you.
When your bike breaks down on the side of the road
your first thought isn't "how am I going to get home",
its "I wonder where can I get a beer to drink while I fix this thing".
You have a good time riding your bike even if nobody sees you.
If you own a trailer it's either got a boat on it or you live in it.
If you can tell the difference between
an Ironhead and a Knucklehead - just by the sound.
You know why people who ride old Sportsters often walk with a limp.
The patches/pins on your Colors are there for a reason other than
decoration.
You think leather is for protection - NOT fashion.
out the garage is to make room for ANOTHER bike.
If you have a tool kit on your bike
and the tools actually show signs of use.
If you look around your garage and realize
that if you bought some gaskets and a chain
you would have enough spare parts lying around to build another bike.
If your left boot has a shifter divot in the top of it.
(or right boot for some of the older scoots)
If your bike/helmet/gloves/leathers/patches/goggles
were NOT all bought on the same day.
If you giggle your butt off when you hear
somebody use the word "bro".(yeah, I know, it USED to mean something)
If you have at least one custom part on your bike
that you made yourself. (if you bought it off the shelf it is NOT custom)
This one is a guarantee:
You are definitely a real biker
if you have ever bought a basket case and actually
put it together, got it running and rode it without
having to take it to a shop/bike mechanic.
The mere sight of a car with it's left turn
blinker on gives you the willies.
When you think of customizing your bike,
you think about sheet metal, welders and torches NOT credit cards,
Bike shops and mail order billet.
You refuse to EVER "Ness" up a perfectly good Harley.
It took years before you would even consider owning
an Evo and you are still doubtful that you will ever actually do it.
If you think a grease rag and a hankie are one and the same.
If you look under your bike and don't see any spots
of oil on the ground you wonder what's wrong.
If you are almost deaf in your right ear.
If you think Sturgis just isn't as much fun as it used to be.
You refer to the local Harley dealership as "The Boutique".
The term "Bean Blossom" doesn't make you think of gardening.
You knew what a "ride bell" was before there
was a letter about 'em in Easyriders.
If you have ever rigged a car/truck part to work on your bike.
You hop on a pre 60's bike and don't look for the starter button.
When you ride through the neighborhood
mothers take their kids inside.
You spend more time riding your bike than polishing it.
It starts to rain while you are riding your bike
and all you worry about is getting your smokes wet.
You have huge oil stains on the living room carpet
...and it doesn't bother you.
You use old pistons for ashtrays,
when you bother with using an ashtray that is.
Dressing up to go out means wearing a -CLEAN- black t-shirt.
You never ask the guy behind the counter "Will this fit on my bike?".
You have a goggle tan on your face - and it doesn't bother you.
When your bike breaks down on the side of the road
your first thought isn't "how am I going to get home",
its "I wonder where can I get a beer to drink while I fix this thing".
You have a good time riding your bike even if nobody sees you.
If you own a trailer it's either got a boat on it or you live in it.
If you can tell the difference between
an Ironhead and a Knucklehead - just by the sound.
You know why people who ride old Sportsters often walk with a limp.
The patches/pins on your Colors are there for a reason other than
decoration.
You think leather is for protection - NOT fashion.
...
Tapahtui Tampesterissa.
Itsenäisyydenkadun liikennevaloissa alkoi karvanaamaisen mansepaikkerin pyörä kiukutella bensan loppumisen takia. Lompakko kotona, eikä liivin taskuissa lantin lanttia. Vaan eipä mitä; viereiselle kaistalle pysähtyy hopeanhohtoinen uudenkarhea saksalainen laatuauto, jonka ratissa ikääntynyt ja hyvin tyylikkään oloinen rouvashenkilö. Kaveri koputtaa varovasti auton sivuikkunaan. Rouvan hyräily keskeytyy, hän vilkaisee vasemmalle puolelleen, säikähtää hieman ja hetken mietittyään laskee sähkösivuikkunaa hieman auki. "Noh, mitä nyt! Mitä te oikein naputtelette siinä!?" Kaveri selostaa nopeasti tilanteensa ja kysyy, josko rouvalla olisi kahden euron kolikkoa, jolla matka jatkuisi edessä olevalle Kalevan Essolle ja sieltä tankkauksen jälkeen edelleen kotiin sen alati ohuena pysyvän lompakon luo. Rouva tuijottaa hetken eteensä. Kääntyy sitten kaverin puoleen ja tokaisee:" Ken almun antaa, se vastuun kantaa. William Shakespeare", sulkee sen jälkeen autonsa sivuikkunan ja kaasuttaa sitten kepeästi hyräillen vihreistä valoista edelleen eteenpäin. Kaverimme jatkaa pärskivällä ja pätkivällä HD:llään edessä näkyvälle Kalevan Essolle, jossa saa avuja samanmerkkisellä pulttilingolla ajelevalta kaverilta.
Aikaa kuluu pari viikkoa eteenpäin.
Samainen pyöräkuski on matkalla Kalevan ohi kohti Atalaa ja pysähtyy Itsenäisyydenkadulla punaisiin valoihin. Vilkaisee viereensä ja yllätys, yllätys! Siinähän on samainen, kirjallisuutta harrastava ja tunteva rouvashenkilömme jälleen ajelulla hopeanhohtoisella autollaan. Rouva vilkaisee vierelleen ilmestynyttä moottoripyörällä ajavaa otusta, tuhahtaa autossaan ja lisää hieman autostereon äänenvoimakkuutta - tuleehan Classic FM:stä paraikaa neitseellisenvihreän alkukesän aamuhetkiin sopivaa kuultavaa. Kaveri koputtaa keveästi auton sivuikkunaan. Rouva kääntää katseensa ja tuijottaa hymyileviä, mustien aurinkolasien verhoamia kasvoja. Raottaa hetken kuluttua sähkösivuikkunaa ja tivahtaa: "Mitä nyt?! Onko teillä taas bensa loppunut? Teistä alkaa tulla kuulkaas oikea riesa!". Tuijotusta jatkuu hetken. Kun valo on vaihtumassa vihreäksi, lausahtaa pyöräkuski: "Haista ämmä vittu. Hannu Salama, Juhannustanssit", ja kaasuttaa sitten vihreistä valoista eteenpäin...
Itsenäisyydenkadun liikennevaloissa alkoi karvanaamaisen mansepaikkerin pyörä kiukutella bensan loppumisen takia. Lompakko kotona, eikä liivin taskuissa lantin lanttia. Vaan eipä mitä; viereiselle kaistalle pysähtyy hopeanhohtoinen uudenkarhea saksalainen laatuauto, jonka ratissa ikääntynyt ja hyvin tyylikkään oloinen rouvashenkilö. Kaveri koputtaa varovasti auton sivuikkunaan. Rouvan hyräily keskeytyy, hän vilkaisee vasemmalle puolelleen, säikähtää hieman ja hetken mietittyään laskee sähkösivuikkunaa hieman auki. "Noh, mitä nyt! Mitä te oikein naputtelette siinä!?" Kaveri selostaa nopeasti tilanteensa ja kysyy, josko rouvalla olisi kahden euron kolikkoa, jolla matka jatkuisi edessä olevalle Kalevan Essolle ja sieltä tankkauksen jälkeen edelleen kotiin sen alati ohuena pysyvän lompakon luo. Rouva tuijottaa hetken eteensä. Kääntyy sitten kaverin puoleen ja tokaisee:" Ken almun antaa, se vastuun kantaa. William Shakespeare", sulkee sen jälkeen autonsa sivuikkunan ja kaasuttaa sitten kepeästi hyräillen vihreistä valoista edelleen eteenpäin. Kaverimme jatkaa pärskivällä ja pätkivällä HD:llään edessä näkyvälle Kalevan Essolle, jossa saa avuja samanmerkkisellä pulttilingolla ajelevalta kaverilta.
Aikaa kuluu pari viikkoa eteenpäin.
Samainen pyöräkuski on matkalla Kalevan ohi kohti Atalaa ja pysähtyy Itsenäisyydenkadulla punaisiin valoihin. Vilkaisee viereensä ja yllätys, yllätys! Siinähän on samainen, kirjallisuutta harrastava ja tunteva rouvashenkilömme jälleen ajelulla hopeanhohtoisella autollaan. Rouva vilkaisee vierelleen ilmestynyttä moottoripyörällä ajavaa otusta, tuhahtaa autossaan ja lisää hieman autostereon äänenvoimakkuutta - tuleehan Classic FM:stä paraikaa neitseellisenvihreän alkukesän aamuhetkiin sopivaa kuultavaa. Kaveri koputtaa keveästi auton sivuikkunaan. Rouva kääntää katseensa ja tuijottaa hymyileviä, mustien aurinkolasien verhoamia kasvoja. Raottaa hetken kuluttua sähkösivuikkunaa ja tivahtaa: "Mitä nyt?! Onko teillä taas bensa loppunut? Teistä alkaa tulla kuulkaas oikea riesa!". Tuijotusta jatkuu hetken. Kun valo on vaihtumassa vihreäksi, lausahtaa pyöräkuski: "Haista ämmä vittu. Hannu Salama, Juhannustanssit", ja kaasuttaa sitten vihreistä valoista eteenpäin...
A ten year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a
black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, "Hey son, wanna go for
a ride?"
"No!", said the boy, and he kept on walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says, "Hey, I'll give you
$10 if you hop on the back"
"NO!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, "OK, I'll give
you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride."
At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, "Look
Dad, YOU bought the DAMN HONDA, so YOU ride it!!
black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, "Hey son, wanna go for
a ride?"
"No!", said the boy, and he kept on walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says, "Hey, I'll give you
$10 if you hop on the back"
"NO!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, "OK, I'll give
you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride."
At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, "Look
Dad, YOU bought the DAMN HONDA, so YOU ride it!!
Tallissa majaili Yamaha, Suzuki ja Harley-Davidson. Keskellä päivää talli paloi ja yksi pyöristä paloi mukana, mutta kahdelle ei käynyt kuinkaan.
Kysymys: Ketkä siis pelastuivat?
Vastaus: Yamaha ja Suzuki, koska olivat ajelulla. Harlikka ei selviytynyt, koska ei ollut toimintakuntoinen.
Kysymys: Ketkä siis pelastuivat?
Vastaus: Yamaha ja Suzuki, koska olivat ajelulla. Harlikka ei selviytynyt, koska ei ollut toimintakuntoinen.
Viimeksi muokannut pekus, 23:29 15.01.2006.. Yhteensä muokattu 2 kertaa.
Taivaassa
Motoristi kuoli ja pääsi taivaaseen. Portilla pyhä Pietari onnitteli, mutta kertoi samalla hieman negatiivisen uutisen: "Täällä ei sitten ajella muuta kuin Vespoilla." No, motoristi kuittasi Vespansa, ja lähti ajelemaan taivaallisia maanteitä. Pian kuitenkin vastaan tuli pitkätukkainen, parrakas mies ehdalla pitkäkeulaisella pannupäällä. Motoristi kurvasi Vespansa ympäri ja ajoi takaisin portille Pietarin luo kysymään miksi moinen. Pietari pudisteli hetken päätään ja huokaisi sitten: "Ei voi mitään. Omistajan poika."